For My Ladies :-)

Don't ever lose yourself in love..Lose yourself in God and let him lead you to the love you've always deserved...

Past experiences may lead us to think that adversity in a relationship resembles what we deem as what would happen in "real life", so we continue to hold on and press on with the belief that through the struggles we will learn and grow..TRUTH-relationships will face tests, hardships etc..But agony should not be the dominant feeling.. Certainly not very early in a relationship..If someone is unhappy with how you communicate you can adjust, but do not LOSE the uniqueness of how you communicate in order to please someone else..it creates a false sense of reality for them and you..When you're dealing with someone they deserve the TRUE you..good,bad,fabulous,lackluster(yall get what I'm saying)
I can speak for me... having grown up being taught to be submissive to men, sometimes we find ourselves submitting to men that are not our husbands or figures of authority...this causes confusion..most often we are submitting to folks that were never intended to be entrusted with that great sense of responsibility. The confusion that develops is not present because something is wrong with them, it's because they are not the one(s) that God intended to handle your heart. Though they may try, they will be unsuccessful...This is why as women we are to seek wisdom, so that we can properly discern what is supposed to happen with any man that enters our life..we have to be on point spiritually.

Ruth was obedient to her mother in law, but she also had to have some connection to God..her faith told her to follow that woman and her wisdom told her that BOAZ was worth putting it all on the line for..A wife knows the heart of her husband and supports him in his endeavors and provides sound wisdom when he might be going astray, that type of thinking and acting does not start after she says I do..it begins when she discerns that he in fact is the man of God for her..and as she feeds her spirit and navigates the relationship she learns and grows, so that when it is time to become his wife she is ready to go to the next plateau with him.

So I'm hiding all of these words in my heart, so that they will grow and flourish and not just be words that I post in a blog, but words that exemplify who I am.
This blog is for those of us who are not perfect, have messed up, and have found ourselves lost in love..I don't mind sharing my thoughts if someone can relate..I am real about mine..I have been there... placing my heart in someone's hands who either wasn't ready, didn't really want it, or didn't know what to do with it...Believing words spoken because I truly wanted to believe that the idea of "too good to be true" was not true...I do believe that there are good men out there, that love God and have great respect for women, but no one is PERFECT! I embrace every mistake because it showed up areas of weakness that I was able to SQUASH..I would not have known I possessed these weaknesses, had I not gone through those experiences.

Human relationships are ministry....ministry requires dedication, preparation, a certain level of maturity, clear knowledge of expectations, flexibility, and passion..It's a ministry that is constantly evolving and should be treated with great care..when someone says they are not ready to engage in a relationship with you (friendship, romantic, even familial) they are letting you know that they can not provide the necessary care required for this great ministry..respect their honesty and let it be...nothing that you do or don't do will change that..

These are things that we know..but sometimes someone needs encouragement and I don't mind providing it.

:-) much Love,
Nakiyah

Fathers

I usually don't write blogs back to back, but so much has happened this week I just need to get this out..
So Thursday night at our annual Holy Convocation at my church two Bishops preached and their format was tag team preaching. So the first speaker began talking about Eli and how his sons were out of order and evetually the Lord caused them to die. He talked about a lack of fathering and training. He laid the foundation, and then the next speaker began by giving his own testimony. He'd been raised in a household of 8 children and his father wasn't there for him growing up. He'd asked God to make him a good husband and father since he hadn't experienced this growing up. God honored him and showed him how to be a loving husband and phenomenal father. His story touched me because here is a man who chose to defy the odds and expectations of him to be like his father and maybe even worse. Through a simple prayer and calculated actions he became the father and affirmer that he never had. He stressed the importance of the role of a father and the need for children to have a father's affirmation.

I agree with that, I believe that the role of a mentor, father, male figure is essential to the emotional success of any boy or girl. Men possess a certain strength of character(as do women) but I'm sure we can all appreciate the strengths that men bring to the table. Protector, provider, one that covers, and that can often bear the emotional and spiritual weight of a family. In our society there is a serious lack of this presence on a consistent level in the lives of boy and girls. I believe that we see the effects of this. My goal is to encourage men who are not being a father(daddy) to their children to PLEASE find a way to begin taking your role and being consistent in it. Those that are active PLEASE stay active re-assure and affirm your children it makes a world of difference for them in their future endeavors and especially their future relationships.

My biological father passed when I was young and there were a few men that I call brothers that stepped up, but when I was about 18 I began to develop a REAL father/daughter relationship with my Godfather. I thank God for him everyday..He has been there for me, completely believes in me, and loves me even when we don't agree ..I love it!! I was always told that my biological father loved me and I believed it, but seeing my DAD (Godfather), as I call him, in church on a Sunday leading worship, preaching, giving me that Hug I need until I soften up..LOL..has changed my life..Recently I went to my DAD about a matter of the heart and though he is generally supportive of what I want..He simply told me who I am, what I deserve, and said what you're telling me is NOT good enough for my daughter....well, THAT alone set me on a course of thinking that has brought me spiritual and emotional freedom..

My point in sharing my heart is to urge us to see the value in fathers and pray for the fathers that are not standing up and being the men that their children need.. we can talk about the problems until we are blue in the face, but God wants us to pray, give words of encouragementand support to those men that might be struggling along the way.

Thank God for a heavenly FATHER that never fails, shows un-ending love, and loves us beyond our pain and faults :-)
Love yall Much,
Nakiyah

GROWTH

Well its been 2 months since my last blog...way too long..A lot has happened... the focus of this blog is not what has happened,but how it has all impacted my future..I think that everyone can say that they have experienced a season in their life that served as a breaking point..It could have been precipitated by a number of occurences negative, positive, or a combination of the two. This breaking point usually cajoles a need a for action...Puts you in do or die mode...You're either going to finally do what you've always dreamed of or you're going to continue to let life, opportunities, and chances for growth escape you. Let me say that there is POWER in CONFESSION..often simply saying what IT is brings about self awareness and then healing. I've had to say a lot of things...I was once a person that held it all in until I couldnt contain it any longer(understand I am speaking in faith regarding that)So part of my journey has been simply opening my mouth and talking about how I feel.

My last blog was about letting go..I knew the test would come..it came and I had to take it, no way around this one. All in all I learned that everyone does not let you know when they let go of you. Sometimes we expect people to be accountable to us because we've allowed them to take residence in our heart...But we must remember that our obligation starts and ends with God and He is the only person that we should have that kind of expectation of. We have to guard our hearts with the word of GOD, and when we say we truly trust the Lord with our lives we have to show and prove!! He loves us so much and only wants what's best for us.

So I'm taking His hand and I REFUSE to let it go! Let's do this thing together yall! Let's get all that God has for us and trust even when we cant see the wonderful promises.